An Artist Hunger.

It's so hard to tell the truth to dig deep inside yourself and tell people what's really going on. I'm a artist by nature, it's in my blood, in my sleep and in my soul. I feel alive when I create when I'm around that source of power it's my life force. You see I'm very depress about my life where it's going and not going. I'm looking for a place to call home a place to create. A couple of weeks ago I worked with a group of performers who are full of passion about the entertainment business. I let them down because I couldn't live up to that passion and now I question my place in that creative space. I love the arts,I've had a chance to dance professional. I've taken the time to learn the craft of acting, writing, film making and now I'm looking for a place to call home. I want to create pieces that celebrate the struggles of life. Moving people to  question the things around them. While I was working with these performers. I made bad choices, not looking at the training of the actors over the people with the passion for performing. I couldn't take control over what I know was right over what I felt I should do.  Where does one go from here? What should I do? I feel like am falling off a piece of thread. Heading into a dark dance room where everyone is waiting to breath. I wish I could scream how I felt deep inside my soul. How I hunger for freedom, that freedom that allows you to walk with your head held high. I can not walk because I'm trapped in one space. A space that closes me off from home. That home that connects me to that creative force. What I do know that being an artist is more then just passion, it's about taking the time to truly learn your craft, to bring yourself to the work. Follow what is true , trust your gut and don't let anyone make you do something you know not to be true. I let that group of performers, and actress, and actors down, not working from the source from the truly trained at their craft. I hunger for artist trapped in my head, trying to eat his way out. Keeping myself out of that darkness is hard because I want to live my life in that creative space, breath it, eat it and make love to eat and I want to be around people who feed that life force. I hunger to be full with the joy of home. So if you feel like you aren't connect to that place. Feed yourself no matter what. Go make yourself sick with the fullness of the creative juice we artist need to eat, to be happy in that space we call life.